Hey guys.
So, I entered another one of those crazy contests! (Yes, I know, I'm a glutton for punishment. But as torturous as these contests can be, they are that much more rewarding)
This time though, I did it with a shiney new manuscript. This one is contemporary, which I think gives a little bit of an edge over fantasy (less crowed market, both in publishing and in the contest scene) I'd love to hear what you guys think! Here's my #pitchmadness entry for NAKED.
Name:
Stacey Trombley
Title: NAKED
Genre:
YA contemporary
Word
count: 66,000
Pitch:
Sixteen-year-old
Anna would do anything for Luis, her pimp. Then they're busted and she's sent
back to the suburbs where everyone knows her secrets. The town whore has no
friends— until she meets Arney.
Exerpt:
I
look into the familiar blank eyes that stare back at me from a Missing Person’s
poster. The name reads: Anna Rodriguez.
The
name’s familiar, but it’s not me. Not anymore.
I
turn away from the innocent thirteen-year-old in the poster, with her pony tail
and pearls around her neck. Now I just find myself wondering how much I could
cop out of a necklace like that. Three hundred?
Every
time I pass this poster I stop and stare at the girl I used to be, but that
just brings attention. I’m not allowed to bring attention.
So
I keep walking and make a plan to go the long way around Bleeker Street so I
won’t ever see my parents attempt at finding me again. I cross my arms, and
breathe out to see if I can see my breath. It’s getting cold, I hate cold.
I
shake my head. I mean, it’s been three years, I don’t see why my parents still
try to find me. I’m not their little girl anymore.
You’d
think they could at least find a better picture, you know? No one would guess
that girl was me. Why not use a picture like that one from Halloween when I
dressed up like Cindy Lauper but really just looked like a hooker? That might
catch someone’s eye.
I
smile at my stupid joke, but know they want to cling to the ideal, pristine
daughter they always thought they had. Too bad I was never that girl.
Wow!
ReplyDeleteI've only read 250 words and my heart's already breaking! I think you do a really good job matching sentence structure to fit the tone for this.
Short, crisp sentences. No energy wasted. Similar to how I'd figure Anna would be operating after 3 years on the street.
Nicely done.
Best of luck in the contest and thanks for posting!
Thank you!
DeleteI love the voice! The pitch made me bristle because it's definitely not my usual stuff, but I think you are solid. Best wishes for all your future success!
ReplyDeleteThanks. Yeah, it's not quite what I'm sure some people will expect. It's got a bits of dark and gritty, but in the end it's really just the story of a girl. Thanks for reading.
DeleteWow, this is really enticing. I especially love the line about how much money she could get for that necklace. Shows the discrepancy between her former self and what she has become. Really well done.
ReplyDeleteAs a former NYC girl, though, I must point out it's spelled Bleecker, not Bleeker (Bleecker Playground was my childhood hotspot, haha).
I hope this gets picked up and published. I want to read the book.
ReplyDeleteI really like this, so much set up in only 250 words, a great sense of her and where she is at. I would read this book! For what it's worth, that says something for me, since I've been trying to find new authors and genres to read and have put down half a dozen books in the last month before finishing the first chapter. I like your voice. Hope you make it through!
ReplyDeleteThis sounds intense and very well written. I don't read much contemporary, but I'd pick this up. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThis really caught my attention! I sooooo want to know what happens to her... and her pimp, I don't care if he is not central, I'm still curious lol Good luck :)
ReplyDeleteAt this point, most of it's been said, but some deserve repeating:
ReplyDelete"Short, crisp sentences. No energy wasted. Similar to how I'd figure Anna would be operating after 3 years on the street." -BB
"The pitch made me bristle..." -AS
"...love the line about how much money she could get for that necklace." - MY
And most of all:
"I want to read the book." -F
Awesome possum!
Dina
(aka @tartanfrog13)